So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
