Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
