shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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