the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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