Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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