at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
nutella sex= disaster
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
