I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
