And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I fill condoms, not promises.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
