Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
