They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
