So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
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