after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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