How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
