Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
