I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
