do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
