the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
