ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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