wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
