Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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