Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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