trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
