He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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