VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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