Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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