i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
