bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Randomize
