Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
