I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
