can u get pink eye on your cock?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
