i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
