He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
