I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
