OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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