dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
