He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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