Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Randomize
