I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
