I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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