There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
