I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
