YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
