I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
