Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
