addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
