dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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