fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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