i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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