He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
