somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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