I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
