considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
