i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
